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Ils étaient comment, vos cadeaux de Hanouka ?

  • BY Sharon Boutboul
  • LE 31/12/2019
Costume Hanouka JewPop

 

Je ne sais pas comment ça s’est passé chez vous, mais du côté de la rédaction de Jewpop, j’en connais qui vont avoir du mal à refourguer au Bon Coin les « cadeaux » de Hanouka de notre bien-aimé directeur, moi la première.

 

Après les prières et chants d’usage entonnés avec entrain hier soir par toute la rédaction dans la cave les splendides locaux de Jewpop et l’allumage des bougies pour le dernier soir de Hanouka, toute l’équipe attendait avec une impatience non dissimulée ses cadeaux, après une année de labeur intense. Soigneusement emballés dans des papiers-cadeaux Fnac que le boss avait sans doute « emprunté » – en bon gestionnaire qu’il est – ils nous attendaient près de la hanoukia, nos  yeux écarquillés devant eux comme ceux des enfants que nous sommes tous restés dans l’âme. Un bel enfoiré oui.

 

Dactylo Vinyle JewPop

 

Quand j’ai ouvert mon paquet, notant mon étonnement et ma mine contrite, le boss m’a sorti « Ma petite Sharon, vu la qualité de vos derniers papiers, il semble qu’une reconversion s’impose d’urgence ! ». Le salaud ! En plus j’ai même pas de platine vinyle…

 

Jean Pierre Tricard K7 audio JewPop

 

Notre responsable commercial a eu la joie de recevoir ce coffret K7 audio (le boss est à la pointe des nouvelles technologies…), accompagné de ce gentil petit mot : « Au vu de vos brillants résultats cette année, je ne saurai trop vous conseiller de suivre à la lettre les conseils de l’expert qu’est mon ami Jean-Pierre Tricard ».

 

Israel Hamas figurines JewPop

 

Venue spécialement de Jérusalem pour l’occasion, notre chroniqueuse « politique » s’est vue offrir cette jolie boîte de figurines en plastique, aimablement dédicacée au dos  : « Plutôt que d’écrire de la merde gauchiste sur le conflit israélo-palestinien, amuse-toi avec ça ! ». On a du la retenir, elle était sur le point d’asperger le boss avec la bombe à gaz dont elle ne se sépare jamais.

 

Rika Zarai JewPop

 

Quant notre responsable de la rubrique « Livres » a ouvert son paquet ébaubi, le boss lui a sorti : « Ça c’est un putain de bouquin ! Pas comme les trucs d’intellos que tu chroniques et qu’intéressent que ta cousine. Tu te crois où, bordel ! Au Monde des livres ? » On a du lui administrer 2 Xanax pour le calmer.

 

Livres ashkénazes JewPop

 

Après que l’ensemble des chroniqueurs « culture » de Jewpop, tous sépharades, eurent écoutés sans moufter le discours de notre directeur sur le « génie ashkénaze », celui-ci leur distribua les ouvrages ci-dessus en leur tapotant affectueusement la joue, ajoutant « Maintenant, vous n’êtes plus dans votre mellah, c’est compris ? »

 

Noel Music JewPop

 

 

Arriva le tour de notre spécialiste « Music». Devant sa stupéfaction en ouvrant son « cadeau », le boss lui déclara : « T’es gentille avec tes disques de jazz qui gonflent tout le monde, tes musiques de bledard et tes insupportables pleurnicheries klezmer de polaks, mais là on va changer de fréquence. Noël et pipeau, c’est le combo gagnant. Tes lecteurs bobos juifs de cour vont adorer ! » On a bien mis une heure à la convaincre de sortir des wc.

 

Lui Entrevue Charme JewPop

 

La seule qui a été gâtée, c’est la chouchou du boss, Josée. Pas question de pinailler avec la responsable de la rubrique « charme » de Jewpop. On a tous été jaloux de son sourire radieux quand elle a ouvert son paquet. J’avoue, il s’est pas moqué d’elle.

 

 

Sharon Boutboul

© visuels : Jewpop

Article publié le 7 décembre 2015. Tous droits de reproduction et de représentation réservés © 2019 Jewpop

 

 

ULYS immobilier

JEWPOP A BESOIN DE VOUS !

Les mendiants de l'humour

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